So everyone in your class is busy drooling over that cute guy in the class next door/Orlando/the seriously fit new PE teacher. Everyone except you that is! While you may feel like a social outcast just because you're not in love with every boy in the near vicinity, it doesn't make you weird - and we say don't let anyone tell you different!
Developing feelings for the opposite sex is a totally normal part of growing up but just like all those other changes that happen when you hit your teens, these feelings affect different people at different times. Just because your best mate has turned into a boy-crazed loon overnight doesn't mean there's something wrong with you just because you're still interested in other stuff. Chances are, the boy bug will bite you at some point too so don't worry about it. In the meantime, having interests in lots of stuff (not all exclusively male...) makes you a far more interesting anyway we say!
But what to do when it affects your friendships?
Jolene is 14 and lives in Eunos. Last year she nearly fell out with her best friend Charmene over the boy thing. "Charmene and I loved to go horse riding on the weekends," remembers Jolene. "We had done since we were about 10. But last year, Charmene started going out with Matt, a guy in our year and that was it, she didn't have any time for me or any of the things we used to do together. I felt totally left out and couldn't understand how Charmene could change so suddenly. All she seemed to care about was Matt, clothes and makeup. Our friendship came way down the list. I just began to feel as if Charmene and I had nothing in common any more which was really sad cos we'd been best friends since we were seven." Eventually Jolene sat down and talked it all through with Charmene. "She was so upset that I was feeling this way and said she just hadn't realised." says Jolene. "I guess I was most upset because I felt a bit jealous about her new friendship with Matt and that I was being left out."
Jolene and Charmene's situation is far from uncommon - fortunately, they managed to sort things out and are now still the best of friends. By talking through the situation and having a bit of give and take on both sides they managed to put things right between them. Jess accepted that Charmene had developed feelings for Matt and that it was cool for her to have other new friends in her life, Charmene realized that she'd been neglecting her best friend for a while and made a conscious effort to include her more and still do the stuff they'd always enjoyed together. Earlier this year, she introduced Jolene to one of Matt's friends Sam. They're not 'boyfriend/girlfriend' - yet - but Jolene has admitted to Charmene that she thinks Sam is seriously cute...
|
