You've probably seen news stories and documentaries about date rape, domestic violence and other abuse of women. Teens often ignore these stories thinking it doesn't affect them. Guess what? Chances are you know someone who's a victim.
Types of Abuse
Any act intended to hurt, control, dominate and/or humiliate a date is considered abuse. And no matter what type of abuse is dished out, the affect on the victim can be devastating. Here's the low-down:
- Mental & Emotional Abuse: Playing mind games, manipulating, always being right, being jealous and possessive, hurting, putting down, ignoring, embarrassing you in public, isolating you from friends and family
- Verbal Abuse: Yelling, shouting, swearing, or interrupting
- Sexual Abuse: Rape, unwanted sexual touching, sexually inappropriate comments, and the use of intense pressure or manipulation for sex
- Physical Abuse: Hitting, kicking, punching, slapping, biting, grabbing, looming over you, or blocking doorways
- Stalking: Constant phone calls, following you, or engaging in any unwanted communication that makes you uncomfortable
The Violence Cycle
Abuse is rarely experienced from the get-go of a relationship, but over time becomes a pattern of violent behaviour used to gain power and control. There are three phases:
- Honeymoon Phase:Most relationships start with two people spending lots of time together, giving gifts, acting loving and attentive. A match made in heaven.
- Tension Building Phase: As the relationship develops, you learn to trust each other more. Trust also leads to vulnerability - and this is what abusers feed on. The power trip begins as he/she begins to isolate, criticize, or play mind games.
- Explosion Phase: After reaching his/her passive-aggressive peak, the abuser hits, chokes, rapes, verbally abuses, imprisons, or beats the victim.
And the cycle continues...
After the abusive peak, the relationship enters the honeymoon phase once again. This time, the abuser may beg for forgiveness, promise to change, send flowers or presents, declare love, or cry. If the relationship continues, this bliss inevitably turns to tension, then explosion. Eventually, the honeymoon gets smaller and smaller until the whole relationship is about tension and abuse. Get the picture?
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