It's easy to lose it when someone treats you unfairly or rudely, be it a friend or family member. What's important is realizing that anger is a totally natural human feeling, along with happiness, fear and sadness. Any long-term close bond is bound to encounter uneasy moments every once in a while. The key is to prevent disagreements from exploding into volcanic intensity wars by working through the trouble spots and identifying the problems that started them in the first place. The next time war of the words threatens to break out, plan your strategy and rekindle that loving feeling with some of these peace-making techniques.

1. Identify exactly what it is that's making you angry. Sometimes there's a lot more behind your anger than the event you think it is. Before you can resolve the problem, be sure you're clear about what the fight is really about.
2. Understand your feelings. It's not unusual to mistake anger for hurt or disappointment. Think it through before you say a word. Keep in mind it's the action, not the person's entire character, that you're having a hard time with.
3. Don't attack. Fight the urge to yell out a list of annoying traits. Even if it's the last thing you want to say, begin with something positive. "I'm sure you didn't realize..." "I feel so ignored when you..." are much more effective opening arguments than "All you ever do..." or "You're an inconsiderate jerk."
4. Keep to the subject. Limit your discussion to how this particular incident made you feel. Don't bring up past offences. Keep away from phrases like "you always," and "you never." They tend to ignite the issue and expand the argument.
5. Choose your words wisely. Curb your desire to name call. Your aim is to solve the problem, not add fuel to the fire. If you try to get back or punish by using your words as a weapon, you're veering way off course.
6. Never walk away. Never give a friend the silent treatment. That is ultimately the most unsuccessful of all strategies. Confrontation is unpleasant and it's not a technique we're especially good at so we try to believe the problem will go away by itself. The longer you wait to deal with it, the harder it will be to resolve. Be sincere, be firm and say something like, "I hate the way I'm feeling right now and I'd like to talk to you about it."
7. Don't expect the problem to be solved 100% in your favour. A relationship is all about compromise. Just focus on all the good things you each bring to the table. No two people on the planet will agree all the time. Or win fights all the time.
8. Be aware that in life rarely is one person totally right and the other totally wrong. If you refuse to admit that you might be a bit responsible for the state of affairs, then you make it that much more difficult for the other person to admit his or her share of blame.
9. Try putting yourself in the other person's shoes. Respect the other person enough to consider how you'd feel if the roles were reversed. Listen carefully to what they say. Don't interrupt. Being right isn't very satisfying if the price is the end of the relationship.
10. If you're not ready to say what you need to, if you're too timid or angry or upset, try writing a letter. In a letter you can explain exactly how you feel without interruption. You can spend time expressing your true feelings without getting caught up in the emotion of a face-to-face meeting. And it will give your friend time to think it over before responding.

No matter what the fight was about, the important thing is to get your differences resolved before there's any permanent damage done. Learning to handle arguments effectively can help you be successful dealing with those you care about throughout your life.